A collection of words I felt I couldn’t or didn’t have the strength to post on LinkedIn on IWD. If you’ve found this, it’s a few re-writes, and I wanted to share the extended version of the post, for anyone who was interested to read it.
POST 1.
Yes, let's celebrate women for a day!
Let's celebrate
Resilience.
Strength.
Courage.
The load they carry.
OR
We could alleviate some of that, so we don't have to make a big deal about HOW RESILIENT we all are.
This year's IWD is about equity. What does equity mean to me? For context, really honestly... I'm a working single parent with chronic health conditions, who rents an apartment, doesn't have family support, is trying to build a business to gain some financial ground and demonstrate determination in order to give my daughters a solid foundation of love and tenacity. I guess you could say I'm working really hard on the roundabout of social mobility, but my place is tenuous. I count myself privileged in the global scheme of things, but I'm still the person in the middle of a gigantic mental load.
In this illustration, I've highlights 12 areas of life that swim around in my head all day, and I don't think I'm the only one. Within each of these 12 are multitude of tasks, considerations, decisions and worries, balls to juggle, expectations to meet...
Here's some ways that life could be more equitable for women in similar scenarios.
Equity could mean (and some of this is pretty radical, but not out of reach)
Schools just send out one invoice per year, instead of 47 individual invoices, where you have to remember to pay them, or the kid has 'no pay no go'.
The tax system and centrelink could work more in favour of someone who is working AND trying to earn extra cash in a business. Also, unburden us from the tangled web of bureacracy.
Broaden the net of subsidies to include home help for single parents with health conditions.
Workplaces, be super flexible! I've been fortunate to have amazing flexibility in my last couple of jobs, but I wouldn't have worked there if it wasn't. I get the work done, but sometimes (a lot of) other stuff has to happen.
POST 2.
I've written and re-written this IWD post.
I wanted to talk about equity on IWD. But honestly, it's a little bit difficult for me to do so without sounding cynical or maybe even ranty. Because I wanted to share honestly a bit about the context of my own personal situation and what equity could look like for a single mum, lacking family support, renter, health conditions.. etc.. but it makes people a bit uncomfortable, and sometimes incites pity, which isn't what I want.
Then I thought about flipping it, and examined some of the words we use on IWD.
Resilience.
Strength.
Courage.
And I wondered why we still have to have these things just to go about our day to day lives.
So I made a drawing, just to demonstrate the mental load that requires resilience. I've highlightes 12 areas here, but really each of these is a project that requires many tasks, decisions, worries.. and here I go again. Being a bit ranty.
So all I'll say is, IYKYK and no LinkedIn post is going to bring about equity.
POST 3
I’ve been sexually harassed or copped sexist behaviour in multiple workplaces.
(this one was too triggering and quite uncomfortable right now)
POST 4
So while we #embraceequity today, let's think about what that actually means. What ways can we contribute to a more equitable and supportive world?
- Male partners of women can take more responsibility to carry this mental load
- Workplaces can be super flexible
- Institutions and organisations could take a compassionate approach to streamlining processes - eg Schools, medical, government, sporting clubs, etc
- Broaden support for single parents with medical conditions to include home help
- Proactive connection and support towards mum friends
- Normalise mums taking solo breaks
Let's just normalise women just being a normal human beings who want people to stop looking down on them, judging them for whatever choices they make, and stop giving them more to do because 'busy people get things done'.
POST 5 (The actual post)
I've written and re-written this IWD post a few times. Here's where I landed...
I have lots to say on the topic of women, equality, equity, discrimination, for women. But it can be difficult to articulate all of it, on one day of the year. I have lived experience I could talk about, but I'm saving some of that for my book.
So I thought about a few words we use on IWD.
Resilience.
Strength.
Courage.
And I wondered why women still require these things just to go about our day to day lives?
Here's one reason, illustrated.
MENTAL LOAD. These are 12 areas of life that swim around in my head everyday. And it's not just one word, each of these things is a project, with multiple tasks, considerations, decisions, worries, expectations. It doesn't show that. It would be a spiders web.
What it also doesn't necessarily show is the additional layer of inequality we still experience in big and small ways... being overlooked for a project or promotion, not taken seriously in meetings, or the small ways we use language that favours males. That takes a lot of emotional energy, and erodes our sense of self worth. So despite the fact that we get called resilient, sometimes we don't put ourselves forward, stand up taller, speak up louder, believe in ourselves enough.
Personally, equity means to me, that I'd like to not have to be so resilient, strong and courageous as soon as I wake up in the morning. I'd like to cruise into the day without a mile long to-do list for 12 full blown, neverending projects on the boil. I'd like to be able to not just survive through this list, but to thrive and grow into potential I know is there. But I'll admit, that inequity has worn me down, in many facets of the term. Lucky I am actually so resilient I guess?
Equity on a bigger scale means so many things, but because I've spent so damn long re-writing this post, I don't have time to share about that. I'd love to hear others perspectives on equity today. Tell me.
Thanks for listening.
#iwd2023 #iwd #equity
PS. If you're interested in reading the other versions of the post, I've put it haphazardly into a blog post, because I didn't really have time to create a full article either.